{"product_id":"funny-husband-t-shirt-i-can-t-shift-i-can-t-fly-but-i-did-empty-the-dishwasher","title":"Funny Husband T-Shirt — \"I can’t shift. I can’t fly. But I did empty the dishwasher.\"","description":"\u003cp\u003eSoft, breathable, everyday tee with a dry, witty line that reads like a note from the living room: “I can’t shift. I can’t fly. But I did empty the dishwasher. — Husband, Human Division.” The clean, typewriter-style text sits low-key on a crisp white background, making the humor feel honest and lived-in rather than loud. Made from Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton, this lightweight crew-neck layers easily under jackets or stands alone on warm days. Thoughtful construction—side seams, ribbed knit collar, and shoulder tape—keeps the tee looking neat after repeated wear. Tear-away label and ethically produced blanks add comfort and conscience to the simple, domestic joke. Great for quiet weekends, casual meetups, or relaxed family moments where a little self-aware humor lands best.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eProduct features\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton; lightweight 4.2 oz fabric\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Retail crew neckline with ribbed knit collar and seam for shape retention\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Side seams and shoulder tape for structural support and lasting fit\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tear-away label to reduce skin irritation; REACH certified compliance\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Sleeve and label prints produced with DTF\/DTG methods for crisp, vibrant text\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F) To preserve the print, turn inside out before washing.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Iron, steam or dry: medium heat\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e- Do not dryclean \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\"\u003eSize\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\"\u003eChest (in)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"1\"\u003eLength (in)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\"\u003e S\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\"\u003e34–37\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"2\"\u003e27\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\"\u003eM\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\"\u003e38–41\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"3\"\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\"\u003eL\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\"\u003e42–45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd data-row=\"4\"\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd 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